On Little Missions, Fighting Racism, and Why This Prolifer Quit Being a Live Action Ambassador

A year or two ago, I stumbled across the Instagram page of Live Action, perhaps the largest and most legitimized prolife organization in the country. They are dedicated to educating society about prenatal science and the reality of abortion. I was shocked as I learned more and more about what was going on around me, all while everyone went on with our lives.

So I did what any respectable semi-millennial/semi-gen-z person would do.

I conducted extensive internet research.

And I began to share and share what I found all over my social media networks.

Then, I began to ask myself what more I could do.

I applied to become a Live Action Ambassador and was accepted. From there, I was sent exclusive emails with training and steps of how to get the word out, as well as other resources for initiating local events. 

After just a few weeks in the private Ambassador Facebook group, however, I started to feel uncomfortable.

At first, I loved being in a group who believed in fighting for the life of the unborn and who were so passionate about it. I learned from them, too.

However, I realized I did not like the way some people began to talk about outsiders, and even about prolifers who did not hold the exact same dogma. It was an echo chamber of confirming beliefs, which led to little tolerance for even slight disagreement. 

While most people were kind and intelligent, a few people used flippant, inconsiderate language used to debunk prochoice statements or accounts—really, they weren’t debunking, they were just name-calling or teasing.

Many of these people put their adherence to fighting abortion ahead of anything and everything else. Even worse, I worried that I too would or had put evangelizing the prolife worldview over evangelizing the Gospel.

So I took a small step back, and I left the Ambassador group.

What I Learned

Mainly, I learned to be careful when jumping on a bandwagon, especially an emotional one.

I still fully believe the prolife perspective to be the correct and virtuous one, and I still seek out ways to stand up for the unborn. (See “Abortion: God’s Word Cuts Through the Fog”)

I also still generally agree with most claims by Live Action, and perhaps I should have remained in their Ambassadors’ group.

But I now have an increased, prudent wariness of groupthink. Groupthink is a phenomenon that occurs when a likeminded group of individuals depend too much on their group identity and fail to use their individual thought, often leading to poor decision making.

Also, after seeing what an ideological echo chamber can do with your ability to respond calmly, kindly, and logically to another point of view, I’m also doing my best to identify and keep in check any unhealthy, negative emotional response I might have toward others when they propose opposing ideas.

I believe any group, regardless of the correctness of their cause, is prone to both of these issues.

Politically?

There are many good causes to get on board with, and we should have opinions on important issues that are formed with a scriptural, Godly lens. We should even take action as inspired by the Spirit.

But I recommend caution when considering what ship to get on and how far you will sail with it.

Draw lines between ideologies and entities to which you subscribe.

This doesn’t mean you can’t choose to be a part of a political campaign, protest, or movement!

But know your boundaries. There is a difference between a principle and a person. You can keep your perspectives without getting or staying behind a candidate, group, or organization.

Above all, prioritize your commitment to God over your commitment to any entity—or ideology.

Religiously?

There is only one organization that I deem worthy of my guaranteed, lifelong membership and eternal commitment, and that is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the only church with direct authority from Jesus Christ. The mission of doing His will on this earth in this life is worth any challenges.

Let me be clear: this doesn’t mean I’m not wary of cases of groupthink and hostility within the Church. I think they can and do happen among members, especially online.

However, I have a strong testimony of the Restoration of the Gospel and Church of Jesus Christ, that He leads His Church, and that He moves in and through His Church to bring about His will.

That’s what makes the risk both minimal and worth it, as long as we, members of the Church, are striving to be like Christ in idea, behavior, and treatment of others.

What Is Your Mission?

These words about Alma on his mission have been replaying in my ears in the last several weeks:

“And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.”

Alma 31:5

I believe we were given callings for your life on Earth, to which you may have even been foreordained. (See “Foreordination,” Gospel Topics) They are causes about which you are passionate, ways for you to bring about good in the world. I call these “little missions.” 

It’s wonderful to work in our little missions! I believe standing up for unborn babies is one of my little missions. Yours are probably different. For example, you might be passionate about stopping human trafficking, improving child literacy, promoting racial equality, or even taking care of dementia patients.

It’s okay to only have one or a few good causes as your little mission(s). God has given us unique strengths, but limited time on earth, so take advantage of it, and don’t spread yourself too thin.

Whatever it is, choose a mission, and ask God if it is a worthy cause. Then, consulting God on how to move forward, go and do good in that area.

Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

Doctrine & Covenants 58:27

As you move forward doing good, however, remember that you have only one, most important mission on the Earth. That mission, given to you before this Earth began, is to bring souls unto Christ. Those souls are, in order of your responsibility, yourself, your children, and everyone God places in your life.

There are a lot of ways to bring about good in this world, but none of them is as effective or important as the “preaching of the word,” which has “a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just”. As I always say, Jesus solves all problems. Preaching His word will have “more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else”. (Alma 31:5)

Take a step back. Check yourself often. Are your little missions overshadowing your Mission? Do you talk, write, read, post, or share more about your mission than your Mission?

If so, don’t worry; I’ve been there, too.

Just step back from your little mission for a minute. Refocus on Christ. He will show you the way forward.

What Are Your Little Missions?

What are your little missions? How do you keep your little missions in check with your Mission?

Jesus Solves All Problems: Racism, Police Brutality, Looting, Rioting

Once I wrote a post called “Jesus Solves All Problems.” I still believe this is true.

With so many problems in the world right now, in the last few days and weeks, it’s hard to know how to answer them all. There are so many things to consider and paths we could take as we move to resolve them all. It is a daunting task ahead of us.

The most effective way, really the only way, is Jesus.

He brings love, peace, and fairness. He is the source of light, truth, and inspiration. Only through Him can we hope to find medical improvements, political solutions, and societal peace.

We need not fear

We are His people, the salt of the earth, the leaven in the bread. He has scattered us so we may work in and lift our communities to increase His influence in the world.

This is why, when we face challenges, we need not fear. But we do have responsibility to trust Him and ask for His blessing. 

We know Christ will save us in the end, but He also protects and comforts us in the meantime.

His atonement is eternal in nature, and, thus, effective, applicable, and active in every moment, before, during, and after our trials.

In the midst of fear, injustice, and violence, let us remember what He does for us now, during our trials.

Remember this story from the Book of Mormon, as taught by Elder Bednar:

An example from the Book of Mormon highlights the power of the knowledge of the Lord (see 2 Peter 1:2–8; Alma 23:5–6) to dispel fear and provide peace even as we confront great adversity.

In the land of Helam, Alma’s people were frightened by an advancing Lamanite army.

“But Alma went forth and stood among them, and exhorted them that they should not be frightened, but … should remember the Lord their God and he would deliver them.

“Therefore they hushed their fears” (Mosiah 23:27–28).

Notice Alma did not hush the people’s fears. Rather, Alma counseled the believers to remember the Lord and the deliverance only He could bestow (see 2 Nephi 2:8). And knowledge of the Savior’s protecting watchcare enabled the people to hush their own fears.

Correct knowledge of and faith in the Lord empower us to hush our fears because Jesus Christ is the only source of enduring peace. He declared, “Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me” (D&C 19:23).

But can we hush the fears that so easily and frequently beset us in our contemporary world? The answer to this question is an unequivocal yes. Three basic principles are central to receiving this blessing in our lives: (1) look to Christ, (2) build upon the foundation of Christ, and (3) press forward with faith in Christ.

Elder Bednar, April 2015 General Conference

Let us consider how we may apply the first principle, to look to Christ.

Elder Bednar goes on to use the example of Peter walking on water, who only began to sink when he looked away from Christ and at the frightful scene around him.

Now this is a great example, you may say, but what about when it is hard to see Christ in this situation? What if we may struggle to find Him, along with His comfort, counsel, and love, when there is so much fear, confusion, and hate?

It may be hard to have eyes to see, but we must pray for eyes to see Him and what He can do for you.

It helps me to remember the story of Elisha. Before now, I had never understood in any measure what it might feel like to be surrounded by an army ready to strike, but I’m starting to relate.

This is what happened when the prophet Elisha and his servant woke up to find the enemy, the Syrians, surrounding his city, Dothan:

Therefore sent [the king of Syria] thither horses, and chariots, and a great host: and they came by night, and compassed the city about.

And when the servant of the man of God [Elisha] was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?

And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.

And when they came down to him, Elisha prayed unto the Lord, and said, Smite this people, I pray thee, with blindness. And he smote them with blindness according to the word of Elisha.

2 Kings 2:14-18

Elisha’s servant was fearful. But he turned to someone who could commune with God for help and answers.

Elisha doesn’t even seem phased.

What can we do?

So what can we do when we are like Elisha’s servant? We can turn to the prophet of the Lord for counsel and guidance, and the words of other servants of God as found in the scriptures.

For instance, we can be grateful for the guidance President Nelson gave on June 1st, 2020, in response to current events.

We can also ask the Lord in prayer to open our eyes to see that He is there, that He has sent help before we even knew to ask for it. We may or may not see legions of angels, but I trust that we will feel their presence as well as the love and power of God’s hand.

Once we exercise faith to begin to “Look unto [Him] in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:36), he will give us strength and knowledge sufficient to hold our gaze and come unto Him.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Furthermore, it is essential to remember that the Lord did not only open the eyes of the servant to see the army of angels around them. When the faithful prayed for aide, He blessed them. We can have faith that, someday, the Lord will liberate His people and answer their prayers.

We may not be a prophet or apostle of the Lord like Elisha or Elder Bednar, but we do still have responsibility as members of His Church. We also are entitled to certain blessings. Elder Uchdorf taught:

Brothers and sisters, we are charged with studying the word of God and heeding the voice of the Spirit, that we may “know the signs of the times, and the signs of the coming of the Son of Man.” (D&C 68:11)

We are, therefore, not ignorant of the challenges of the world, nor are we unaware of the difficulties of our times. But this does not mean that we should burden ourselves or others with constant fear. Rather than dwelling on the immensity of our challenges, would it not be better to focus on the infinite greatness, goodness, and absolute power of our God, trusting Him and preparing with a joyful heart for the return of Jesus the Christ?

As His covenant people, we need not be paralyzed by fear because bad things might happen. Instead, we can move forward with faith, courage, determination, and trust in God as we approach the challenges and opportunities ahead.

Elder Uchdorf, April 2017 General Conference

We know we must move past our fear and act in faith.

Today

There are a lot of things that we could—and should—do to solve our problems right now.

Social media activism? Police reform? Peaceful protests? Violent protests? Unleashing the military to restore peace?

Unpacking these options and their varying levels of effectiveness, morality, and lunacy?

As much as I would love to do especially the latter, and perhaps will at a later time, I am prioritizing this post. I’m putting my money where my mouth is and standing by this claim:

The most important thing we need right now is Jesus.

Only He can replace anger with love. Only He can replace fear with comfort. Only He can replace death with life. Only He can replace devastation with hope.

Only He can truly heal hearts and nations. He is the source of truth and righteousness. He is the Prince of Peace, and He will someday return to reign over all creation.

I implore you to look to Him. Come unto Him. Let Him teach you, heal you, and comfort you from inside out.

Have courage

I would like to end with the recent promises, counsel, and apostolic blessing from the Prophet of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is, besides personal prayer, our most direct link to heaven in these dark times.

We pray that you will begin anew truly to hear, hearken to, and heed the words of the Savior. I promise that decreased fear and increased faith will follow.

Talk about the temple with your family and friends. Because Jesus Christ is at the center of everything we do in the temple, as you think more about the temple you will be thinking more about Him. Study and pray to learn more about the power and knowledge with which you have been endowed—or with which you will yet be endowed. …

Dear brothers and sisters, I express my love for you. During this time of tension and uncertainty, and invoking the authority vested in me, I would like to confer upon you an apostolic blessing.

I bless you with peace and increasing faith in the Lord.

I bless you with a desire to repent and become a little more like Him each day.

I bless you to know that the Prophet Joseph Smith is the prophet of the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ in its fulness.

Should there be illness among you or your loved ones, I leave a blessing of healing, consistent with the will of the Lord.

I so bless you, adding once more my expression of love for each of you, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

President Nelson, April 2020 General Conference (emphasis added)

As an aside, I also feel motivated to add that, if you do not currently have a testimony of the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, now is a really good time to pray about it. Ask God in sincere prayer to know if this is Christ’s Church, led by a prophet and apostles who speak for Him on this earth. Once you know this for yourself, I promise you the greatest peace, comfort, and knowledge anyone has to offer. I can testify for myself that my connection with Christ, through His Church, has been my greatest and only real comfort in this time.

Your thoughts

How has Christ healed you? How are you looking (or how will you look) to Him at this time?

Don’t Be Afraid of the P Word – Why and How to Embrace Politics

A Facebook friend of mine recently made a post stating that she was tired of trying to understand politics and encourage productive dialogue. After feeling attacked by some friends commenting on her previous posts, she said she was no longer going to engage in such conversations and will only stick to posting strictly about her personal activities.

Another friend told me she avoids listening to or watching the news entirely. It’s too distressing, emotional, and confusing, so she doesn’t want anything to do with it.

And I used to not want anything to do with it!

I claim that we, as members of the Church, and especially as women in the Church, unjustly avoid politics when we should be using our political influence for good.

We have a responsibility to represent Him any chance we have and to use our influence for good, whatever influence that is, even at the cost of comfort.

Christians cannot be content with comfort

We avoid learning about politics because it is overwhelming, takes time, and can be controversial and uncomfortable. We avoid talking about it because, culturally, it is often a heated discussion and represented by deep rifts between two parties. We may worry we don’t know which side we fall on, or we don’t know if our friend is on the other side and might disagree with us or think us wrong or even evil for doing so.

Netflix is comfortable. Disney+ is comfortable. Food is comfortable. Not talking to strangers is comfortable. Talking about “The Office” is comfortable.

But we need to push ourselves a little harder than that!

I know politics are uncomfortable. But our culture is much too used to being comfortable.

Plus, many members of the Church are far too concerned with not upsetting anyone. We would rather call ourselves “Mormons” with a self-deprecating laugh than correct someone who does not use the correct name of the Church when referring to it or its members.

We need to be bold!

On my mission, I learned over and over again about being bold. Was I ever good at it? Honestly, probably not at all. But I want to be better, so here I am, testifying the best way I am able: in written word, to however few people will read it.

1) We should embrace learning about politics.

Now this account did cause the people of Mosiah to mourn exceedingly, yea, they were filled with sorrow; nevertheless it gave them much knowledge, in the which they did rejoice.

Mosiah 28:18

The people of Mosiah were eager to learn what had happened to the people of Jared. Even though it wasn’t easy to find out about their devastating destruction, they still felt joy in the knowledge they gained.

I know learning about politics is difficult. And it is completely possible that you really are at a time in your life when you need to turn down the voices on tv or limit your time reading newspapers.

But for many of us, it’s time to pick up the gauntlet to do the hard work of learning about the issues facing our communities and our country.  If we do so, I am confident we too will feel joy.

So find out about what’s really happening with abortion. Find out about what’s happening with human trafficking. Find out what’s happening with violence. Turning a blind eye to it will only allow evil to fester.

It’s uncomfortable. But if you can cut out a tv show, video game, or other distraction of little consequence from your life, you can find time to learn about the news and the stances of the politicians vying for your vote. Pray for the gift of discernment as you filter through the voices, seeking for a balanced diet of the most reliable sources on the left, right, and anywhere in between.

As you learn about politics, the most important thing is to stay close to your Heavenly Father. If you pair sincere prayer, diligent scripture study, and righteous living with an open mind and secular research, He can guide you to learn what you should learn and decide what is right.

God wants us to learn about politics. He cares about His people, and He certainly cares about His country.

Extra motivation for citizens of the United States of America

God has invested much into this country, and He is counting on us being stewards for Him. He wants us to defend and promote righteousness, and government can either do the same or stifle or punish righteousness. It is up to us to ensure our government sides with righteousness and with God in order to best bring about His will, provide a safe place for His Church, and protect all who follow Him.

77 According to the laws and constitution of the people, which I have suffered to be established, and should be maintained for the rights and protection of all flesh, according to just and holy principles;

78 That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given unto him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment.

79 Therefore, it is not right that any man should be in bondage one to another.

80 And for this purpose have I established the Constitution of this land, by the hands of wise men whom I raised up unto this very purpose, and redeemed the land by the shedding of blood.

Doctrine & Covenants 101:77-80

2) We should use our influence for good by speaking, voting, and considering running for office.

After we prioritize learning about issues as well as the candidates for our local, state, and federal elections, and as we are continually prayerful, we should then use our influence to bring about good change and maintain moral standards.

I was on my mission during 2016, when the Church ran a religious freedom initiative, and when the First Presidency sent this letter reminding members about the Church’s political neutrality but urging them to be politically involved:

Participation in the political process affects our communities and nation today and in the future. We urge Latter-day Saints to be active citizens by registering, exercising their right to vote, and engaging in civic affairs.

We also urge you to spend the time needed to become informed about the issues and candidates you will be considering.

First Presidency Letter to the Church, 2016

I was happy to shrug it off, knowing that, as a missionary, I was supposed to focus on the work and leave behind things like dating, school, and politics.

However, in the next year or two, I learned to remember that Jesus Christ is at the head of His Church, and if He thought members of His Church needed to be politically informed and involved, it must be best for me and my fellow man (and woman).

I’d like to talk about 3 main ways you may do this: voting, speaking out, and running for office.

Vote

And thus they did assemble themselves together to cast in their voices concerning the matter; and they were laid before the judges.

Alma 2:6

Make sure you’re registered to vote, and then do it! Be well prepared by learning about the candidates and scheduling time to vote.

Every person who is able has a responsibility to be a part of defending our fellow man by voting to promote good in their communities for their fellow man.

Speak out

This is something everyone can do, but how you do it is up to you.

You don’t need to talk about politics every day. You don’t need to talk about it with everyone you know. You don’t need to post about it online. You also don’t have to attend protests or be a part of a formal movement.

In fact, there are many instances in which it is not necessary or good to talk about politics, and some of us might need to have a little more restraint in bringing it up.

But if you feel called to do so, do not fear! Do not always default to avoiding talking about politics, especially in appropriate settings with respectful friends and family.

Also, as you speak out, actively listen. Don’t be afraid of engaging in honest, open conversations. Listen to people with whom you agree and disagree. Try to understand where they are coming from. Be prepared to accept that you might be wrong sometimes and need to change your perspective or change your mind entirely. Remember that people who disagree with you are probably still good people with good intentions, and, in the end, you can agree to disagree.

In whatever way you speak out, for whatever cause, always remember to be Christlike and kind.

“… be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”

Matthew 10:16

Run for office

This is not for everyone; before you run for any office, consult with God to see if this is a good path for you.

But if you feel that it is God’s will for you to run for a government office at any level, move forward with faith. God calls each of us to fulfill our individual missions as His children on this earth and as members of His Church.

3) Remember that Jesus takes priority over politics.

Divorce. Bullying. Poverty. Lack of education. Insufficient healthcare. Racism. Abortion. Anxiety and depression. Hunger. Homelessness. Pornography.

… each of these problems may have a number of effective, individual solutions. However, the only universal solution is Jesus.

How Jesus Solves All Problems

Government cannot be your religion. If you are more interested in talking about politics than talking about Jesus, something is wrong.

And if your time in the news and political research is pushing out your time in the scriptures, it may be time for a break from the news cycle to recenter on the Lord.

But Spack!, you may say. How can I take a break or turn down the volume on the news? Didn’t you just say it was my duty to serve others by being politically informed and active?

Only Jesus is the source of undeniable truth, the greatest love, and perfect peace. No party, candidate, or bill can ever do as much good as Christ can do in the hearts of those who know Him.

So make sure you know Him well, and that you seek to bring others to Christ in your home, community, and country.

Amidst all the confusion, anger, and injustice in government and communities everywhere, I find hope and courage in knowing that, someday soon, my Savior will return to this earth and reign as the Prince of Peace.

“It is perhaps less obvious to some that religion and morality play an essential role in maintaining and promoting good and effective government. The only real solutions to many of the serious problems facing our world today are spiritual, not political or economic. Racism, violence, and hate crimes, for example, are spiritual problems, and their only real solution is spiritual. …
“Societies depend in large part upon religion and churches to establish moral order. Government can never build enough jails to house the criminals produced by a society lacking in morality, character, and faith. These attributes are better encouraged by religious observance than by legislative decree or police force. It is impossible for government to control the attitudes, desires, and hopes that spring from the human heart. And yet these are the seeds that grow into the conduct government must regulate.”

“Religion and Government,” Elder Wilford W. Andersen, Ensign 2015

Additional reading

Your experience

What has been a barrier for you in learning about and being involved in politics?

Women Can’t Do Everything

I can’t do everything.

This has been one of the hardest and most valuable lessons for me to learn.

Let me explain.

Growing Up

I had some rockstar women to look up to. They seemed to be able to do everything!

For example, for as long as I can remember, my own mom has balanced raising 5 kids, working part-time as a nurse, making fitness a priority and exercise a hobby, helping neighbors, fulfilling callings at church, serving frequently in the temple, prioritizing date nights with my dad, and even honing her excellent cooking skills.

Holy smokes! She’s superwoman.

4-generation pic of my baby, me, my mom, and my grandma

They didn’t just set good examples; my parents and the other adults around me explicitly encouraged me to achieve my goals and follow my dreams. They were nothing but supportive as I dreamed of becoming a writer, then an illustrator, then a musician, then a teacher, then a writer again. I felt like I could do anything. (Of course, I knew I could never go far with sports, but I felt like I could do almost anything else!)

I knew I would succeed in college. I had had many wonderful teachers early on who believed in me and helped me focus on my successes. More than that, I had awesome parents who taught me at home to read and who pushed me to do my best in school to get good grades and really learn.

I also felt confident in my abilities to be a mother. I knew childbearing would be hard for me (I’m such a lightweight), but I had spent a lot of time nannying, babysitting, and tending my own younger siblings, so I felt like mothering was generally pretty much in the bag.

Come Spring 2019

I was just about set to graduate with my bachelor’s degree, with a near-4.0 GPA. I was working a great part-time job that wanted to take me on full-time, with great benefits! I had just gotten accepted into a graduate program.

By all outside measures, it seemed like my life was lining up perfectly for me to keep moving full speed ahead. I would be able to work in a job I enjoyed, support Matt through the end of his degree, and even afford diabetes supplies!

Taken spring 2019, right about this time.

So why did I hesitate?

I prayed and prayed about the decision to move forward. I felt loved, but heard the same thing over and over: no answer, no answer. Finally, right after graduation, I felt a small push to turn it all down.  

Very soon, I found out I was pregnant, and my life came to a crashing halt as I was practically bedridden for months. (The Truth About Pregnancy) I had to seriously cut down (again) on the things I could expect myself to do. A lot of days, taking a shower was my biggest accomplishment, and getting my husband to help me down the stairs for anything at all was an event.

As I very gradually gained a small amount of independency and ability, I reflected a lot on my previous worldview. I thought, maybe I can’t do everything. But slowly, I could start doing more things: going shopping, walking around, cleaning, working again.

But then, I was knocked down yet again after childbirth. My postpartum recovery was aggressive.

For a couple days after coming home from the hospital, I just cried in pain no matter how I lay, sat, or stood. For a couple weeks, I had frequent, sporadic anxiety attacks (and couldn’t get in to a health professional). To make matters worse, my baby had a really hard time breastfeeding and sleeping. I really wasn’t at all better until about 8 weeks later, my baby didn’t really get any sort of consistency with eating until about 6 weeks, and we only just began sleeping on a healthy schedule at about 10 weeks.

Really, I still couldn’t do anything else but try to help both of us survive. Yet for some reason, just a week or two after birth, I tried, to great cost and little success, spending any energy on getting my business up and running again!

I could see even more clearly that I could not do everything.

Now that things have calmed down significantly, I have decided to remember my list of priorities: 1) God; 2) husband; 3) baby. Everything else comes after.

As I’ve tried (imperfectly) to make each day reflect these priorities in order, I’ve seen a big difference in how I feel, as well as how much I can do in a day. God makes enough time in my day and gives me enough energy to do the most important things each day.

Is there a point to all this?

A favorite line from this most recent general conference was from Sister Joy D. Jones, Primary General President:

“Women wear many hats, but it is impossible, and unnecessary, to wear them all at once.”

I had been saying the same thing for awhile, except I said:

Women can’t do everything—but we can do anything.

Let me be clear: I do believe women can have awesome careers, do a great job serving in the Church, be wonderful mothers and wives, hold public office, break records, and do pretty much anything.

But no one woman—or man, for that matter—needs to do all these things, and certainly not all at once. But we can do anything—any good thing that God asks us to do.

That’s how my husband and I have a family motto: “I can do anything good!” It is derived from this inspirational video:

Being brave

“The Spirit helps us determine which work to focus on today.”

Joy D. Jones, April 2020

I believe God will teach us what we must do “today,” whether that means literally the 24-hour period of today, or any other current period: this week, this year, during college, for retirement, or for our whole lives.

I have faith in an eternity when I can really do everything, or at least every good thing. For now, I’m learning to be content with the few things I can do at this point in my life.

So let’s stop telling women that they can do everything. I believe that female empowerment has gone too far, going from encouraging women to do anything to pressuring women to do everything. This is only going to chase our happiness out of reach, give us unrealistic expectations for ourselves, and ultimately oppress from within.

I think it best that we seek to abide by the advice the Lord gave to Emma Smith:

“… lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of better.”

Doctrine and Covenants 25:10

The truth is, some things are not worth our time today or perhaps ever in this life. And some things critically require our time right now.

Be brave enough to accept that you can’t do everything. Be patient with yourself when you find you fall short. More than anything, trust in God that He will help you identify and do the most important things. I know that His grace will make up for your insufficiency, as it has mine.

Additional study:

Good, Better, Best, Elder Dallin H. Oaks, October 2007

Do you agree?

As others encourage you, have you also felt expectation overwhelm? Have you learned, as I have, to give up some endeavors for the most important things? What were they, and how?

COVID-19 and Anxiety: “Who Knew It Only Took a Worldwide Pandemic to Manage Your Anxiety?”

“I’m really surprised how well you’re taking all of this. Who knew it only took a worldwide pandemic to manage your anxiety?”

That’s what my husband told me over dinner on Thursday, March 12, 2020 (otherwise known as the day the world began to stop).

He was teasing, but he was also kind of right. My anxiety was unusually low for a normal day, let alone such a crazy one. And since then, it’s mostly fallen somewhere between low and normal.

I’ve been trying to understand why I, a person who is prone to intense anxiety, has had fairly optimal anxiety levels, even though much of the world is panicking, and for good reason. COVID-19 is a real threat to physical health, economic health, and even life. So why am I not so afraid?

Here are a few possible explanations (in ascending order of seriousness):

1) Not Compensating

I’ve always been anxious about being around crowds, touching, having unwashed hands, sharing germs… you get the picture. Having a newborn during the middle of an aggressive sick season has just exacerbated those anxieties.

Now that everyone else is as concerned as I already am about these things, I can let down my guard just a little bit. I only need to focus on myself; my anxiety can stop compensating for every single other person around me, too!

2) Celebrating the Good

I’m used to managing my anxiety by always having things to look forward to. So when I learned that Corona meant my husband would be doing online school for the rest of the semester, I let myself be excited! My love language is quality time, and I was happy at the prospect that he might be home more than normal.

It’s a really small bright side, compared to the real danger of COVID-19. But this is already how I have learned to cope.

3) Gaining New Perspective

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

I took peace in being granted eyes to see that God was taking care of us temporally. The event of Coronavirus is one of a few life events that seem to be a moment of clear reflection, as if my life is a long hike, with just a few tall ridges along the way that permit me to see just how high up and far I have come.

As poor college students, money has been one of my biggest anxiety-stimulants. I didn’t know how we were going to survive through the end of the semester! I had been worried for weeks (really since finding out I was pregnant) about how we were going to pay the lofty, looming hospital bills for our baby’s birth. Finally, about 6 weeks after she was born and about a week before Corona really struck, we miraculously got everything paid for.

That same week, we unexpectedly came into the money to pay for our housing through the end of the semester, and we learned we were going to receive a good-sized tax return.

One of those very last days of normal life before Corona, I felt like I had a huge wad of cash burning a hole in my pocket! I said, “Matt, why don’t we go pick up dinner tonight?” My wise husband said we could if I really wanted to but gently suggested we save the money for now and avoid impulse buying. I knew he was right, so we made some soup at home instead.

It was just a couple days later that I felt that God had taken me by the hand on my long hike and said “Look what I did for you!,” pointing over the ridge to see the winding path we had taken to come this far. I am grateful that sometimes, God does let me see some of what He’s done for you, and I take comfort in the reminder that I can trust Him to continue to do things for my good.

The hike my husband took me on to propose to me! This was taken just a few minutes before.
(He just had to surprise me by letting me go without makeup!)

4) Finding Peace in the Perspective I Had Long Since Gained

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8

I am so grateful for the perspective I have been granted from learning the Plan of Salvation and gaining an understanding of what Christ has done for me. (“Plan of Salvation“, Gospel Topics) I am confident that my life did not begin at birth, nor will it end at death. I trust that I will see my loved ones again after this life. I have faith in the Resurrection of my own soul.

Sure, Corona may really suck to get, and I definitely would miss any family member who I lost. But of all the things I fear, I do not fear death.

5) Feeling Hope for a World in Sin

“’And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together’ (Isaiah 40:5). He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords, and every knee shall bend and every tongue shall speak in worship before Him.”

Jesus the Christ

Our world is in great sin. Historically, this has indicated that the Lord sees fit to send challenges meant to humble us and turn us to Him.

I am hopeful more that this disease leads many to humility and repentance through Christ, that they may find eternal happiness now and in the life to come. If anything, in the grand scheme of things, this might be a blessing for mankind and for my own soul.

Most of all, I am excited that this may mean we are just one step closer to the return of the Messiah, the Redeemer, the King of Kings, who will soon come to rule and make right all that is wrong. Finally, everyone will know the truth and joy that comes through Christ.

So How Are You Doing?

Do you feel like you are managing your new or longstanding anxiety in the middle of all this? What things, if anything, are helping you find peace?

The Right Time to Have Kids

I just gave birth to a sweet baby girl (thus the hiatus in blog post production—my apologies). Our little one is a blessing, but she is also my biggest challenge yet.

I never thought I would be one to get married so quickly (click to read about that story), and I had similar expectations with having my first baby. 

But here we are with our first baby, months away from our second anniversary. We’re waiting for my husband to finish his bachelor’s program and living in a tiny on-campus apartment. And frankly, we’re dirt poor.

The arrival of our sweet little one in what might be considered untimely circumstances has inspired many to ask us: “How did you decide it was time to have kids?” Most of the people who have asked this question are also young couples; many are openly considering having children and wanted to pick our brains as they are asking themselves the same question.

Well, I’ll tell you, but in order to give a proper answer, I must first address the bigger question: When is it God’s time for you to have kids? What does He say about it?

When Does God Say Is the Right Time to Have Children?

For your convenience, I have accumulated some of the most important words of divine counsel that impacted me when I asked myself this same question. I endorse these sources as recommended reading for anyone, but particularly for married couples who have not yet decided to begin trying to have children.

I do not intend to place guilt on those who are already trying unsuccessfully, thus far, to have children. 

It is essential to first remember that the “first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. [Modern prophets and apostles] declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

I have heard many say that people (especially women) need to achieve certain personal goals before having children. (E.g., claims that one must achieve X level of education before having children, or attitudes of superiority over a parent who went straight to full-time parenting.) That manner of thinking might indicate that you prioritize other, worldly things before family and God’s command, and that you have fallen for Satan’s lies:

Satan seeks… to discourage childbearing (especially by parents who will raise children in righteousness).

Elder Oaks, October 1993 General Conference

But wait!, you might ask, when is waiting or choosing to not have children a good idea? Surely there are times when it’s best to not have children (besides out of wedlock, of course)!

I actually discovered the best answer to this question in the Gospel Topics essay titled, “Birth Control:”

Those who are physically able have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family. This blessing should not be postponed for selfish reasons. … 

Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. Issues to consider include the physical and mental health of the mother and father and their capacity to provide the basic necessities of life for their children.

Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple. Elective abortion as a method of birth control, however, is contrary to the commandments of God.

”Birth Control”, Gospel Topics

The part that stands out to me is “selfish reasons.” Ask yourself: is your reason to postpone childbearing actually a reflection of a selfish desire?

Most importantly, I wish to reiterate the words of Elder Anderson:

“When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions—decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.”

Elder Anderson, October 2011

Ultimately, the decision is personal, between you and the Lord. It is not my job (or anyone else’s!) to say when you should have children—nor is it any of your business to know why we decided to have a baby when we did.

On that note, I’ll tell you my story! (Okay, at least a little slice of the story.)

How Did We Know It Was the Right Time to Have Kids?

For both Matt and me, it was a gradual decision. We already knew we wanted some number of children at some time. However, we also had concerns about adding to our family so soon, and we had to address each of them thoughtfully, as a couple and individually, and in prayer.

We analyzed each concern one by one, asking ourselves questions like the following:

  • What are my reasons to wait?
  • For each reason to wait, what is at its root: faith or fear? Is it a concern I have because I don’t trust God, or because I’m really trying to do what He wants?
  • Is this reason a rationalization?
  • If this reason is not rooted in fear, and it is not a rationalization, what can I do to resolve this concern? How can I begin now to remove or diminish it as a valid concern?

After answering these questions, we could then place each concern into one of the following categories:

  • Not a valid reason to wait
  • A valid reason to wait
    • If a concern fell into this category, we had to ask ourselves: can it be resolved? How can we begin now to resolve that concern?

For instance: Money

For example, money was a concern for us. We were both paying for school and working part-time. We worked hard to budget our money, but our expenses were very high, especially with diabetes costs.

How would we be able to afford a child?

This is a shot from one of our date nights about a year ago. Because money can be hard to come by, sometimes we just visit Deseret Book for a couple hours and admire the artwork and read excerpts from books we would like to own someday.

However, with prayer, study, and reflection, we decided that this concern was, for us, not a valid reason to wait.

We had already learned that money was something we could trust the Lord to figure out. We remembered that He had cared for us when we couldn’t afford a place to live for several weeks between our wedding and when we moved back to school; He had blessed us with a cheaper situation and nicer place to live than we ever could have imagined.

Of course, we knew there were things we could and should do to be financially prepared; we worked hard at our jobs to ensure maximum income, practiced self-control in our spending, and tried to put aside just a little each month into savings.

It took some time to come to this conclusion. It took even more time to come to—and accept—conclusions about other concerns we had.

Most of the concerns we had required little or nothing to be resolved, other than to acknowledge that we could move forward with faith, not fear. There were a couple things we needed to address to prepare us to have children. We gained the faith to tackle these concerns and actively prepare ourselves.

So Basically…

Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 

Doctrine and Covenants 88:63

I can’t tell you when to have children or how many. You can’t tell me, either!

But I feel confident in testifying that, no matter who you are, in whatever walk of life, wherever you are in readiness to have children, the most important thing is to stay close and get closer to God at all times. As you immerse yourself in His word and in prayer, He will have greater power in your life, and you will have greater ability to understand what He wishes for you and your family.

7 Tips for Successful Come, Follow Me Personal Study in 2020

Welcome to 2020! New year, new decade, new you!

This is your chance to make a fresh start on your workout and diet plans, your mental health, your grades, your business, and practically anything else about you!

In the midst of making (and hopefully beginning to keep!) all these resolutions, put this among the top of your goals: improving your Come, Follow Me study. 

I’ve heard many friends, family members, and acquaintances express the same sentiments: “I started out Come, Follow Me last year with such great intentions! I was so excited to do it! But a few months later, I realized my studies had lost vigor and petered out. By the end of the year, I felt so behind I went weeks or months without even opening it up.”

My own Come, Follow Me studies became less intentional, too. I continued to do it all year, but my studies became increasingly sporadic. I regret to say I barely wrote anything down from my personal studies, despite my intentions to record my thoughts.

This is your year

“’Come as you are,” a loving Father says to each of us, but He adds, “Don’t plan to stay as you are.’”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2017 General Conference

Don’t spend another minute feeling guilty about a less-than-satisfactory year of Come, Follow Me! Repent now and start fresh. God will take you how you are and help you become more!

This first week, I have already found it easier to devote more time and intention to Come, Follow Me. Last year, I felt my study time was torn between studying the Book of Mormon daily (as we should) and studying the New Testament as guided by the Come, Follow Me—For Individuals and Families: New Testament 2019 manual. This year, I love getting to put all that time together for one deep, unrushed study.

I consider this year’s Come, Follow Me curriculum a blessing to all of us to fulfill both charges of study at once. I also consider it a great opportunity to learn from the Book of Mormon more deeply than ever before. 

“… I promise that as you prayerfully study the Book of Mormon every day, you will make better decisions—every day. I promise that as you ponder what you study, the windows of heaven will open, and you will receive answers to your own questions and direction for your own life. I promise that as you daily immerse yourself in the Book of Mormon, you can be immunized against the evils of the day, even the gripping plague of pornography and other mind-numbing addictions.”

President Russell M. Nelson, October 2017 General Conference

7 Ways to Improve Your Personal Come, Follow Me Study in 2020

Whether you have consistently held personal studies of the Come, Follow Me curriculum all last year or didn’t even touch it once, each of us can seek to improve our studies.

I find there is value in changing up my approaches to scripture study. There is no one perfect way to study, but there may be ways that will help you get more out of it, even if just for a day, week, month, or year. I encourage you to try one or more of these ideas and observe any changes in how you feel or what you learn.

As always, pray for the Spirit of Discernment; ask the Lord to help you choose which of these things—or what other thing(s)—you should do.

#1 – Incorporate Prayer

“Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.”

Prayer, Bible Dictionary

Among the many blessings that come from prayer, praying will enhance your scripture study experience.

Ask the Lord to help you understand what you are reading, find answers to your questions, know how to make important decisions in your life, feel His love, and/or have a greater focus and desire to learn as you read. Thank Him for the things you learn. 

If you already hold a personal prayer along with your personal scripture study, try to improve your prayer experience. For example, consider offering a vocal rather than mental prayer. This could help you focus on the words you say rather than repeating a rote prayer.

If you don’t already incorporate prayer in your Come, Follow Me studies, begin now! Begin your studies with a prayer, finish them with a prayer, or do both. You might even choose to hold a prayer in the middle of your studies!

However you do it, incorporating prayer in your personal studies (or reincorporating it in a new way) can help you focus your studies, invite the Spirit and personal revelation, and learn from the scriptures.

#2 – Use a study journal

“Knowledge carefully recorded is knowledge available in time of need. Spiritually sensitive information should be kept in a sacred place that communicates to the Lord how you treasure it.”

Elder Richard G. Scott, October 1993 General Conference

The Come, Follow Me manual frequently suggests journal-writing prompts, and many Church leaders have encouraged us to record our spiritual experiences and impressions. Writing impressions as you study shows the Lord that you are listening for revelation and want to remember it when it comes. It can also lead you to further revelation and insights.

If you don’t regularly use a study journal, set a goal to do so. Make that goal your own! My current goal is to write at least one take-away every day directly in the manual. You might choose to write in a separate journal, use the Gospel Library app to record your entries and study notes, or record your impressions another way.

If you already write in a study journal, ponder how you might improve your journal method. Pray for revelation on how you could use it better.

#3 – Scavenger hunt

Give yourself a goal for your studies. This goal might stay the same all year, or it might change day to day or week to week.

Making a “scavenger hunt” out of your studies may help you mentally engage in your studies, especially if you struggle holding your focus. If you choose, it may also be a way for you to answer any doctrine- or faith-related questions you have and/or strengthen your testimony in an area in which you don’t currently feel confident.

This might look like searching for and marking a favorite verse or line each day or week that you study. You could also choose a theme to look for or a question to try to answer every time you read.

#4 – Purchase a study book

God doesn’t require us to spend a minimum amount of money to successfully study the scriptures. However, there are many study helps available to enhance your studies. If you have the means and feel so prompted, even a small purchase could help you to feel more committed to your scripture study.

For example, I set a goal of writing in my Come, Follow Me book every day during my personal studies. To achieve this, I purchased my own personal copy of the book in Spanish. Even though it only cost a couple dollars, I have (at least in these first few days) felt committed to making that investment worth it. I’ve seen huge contrast between this and last year, when I barely touched the physical copy of the Come, Follow Me manual that was given to me for free.

A journal edition of the Book of Mormon features extra space to write impressions as you study

You may choose to purchase one or more of the following:

#5 – Switch scripture/manual/journal format

One thing that has made a big difference in maintaining and improving my studies over the years is periodically changing the format of my studies. I mean by this that, when I feel my studies are becoming rote or lacking, switching from paper to digital scriptures or notes, or vice versa, helps me reengage in my studies and benefit in new ways.

Some people would disagree with this method, believing there is just one best way to study. For example, many have strong opinions regarding digital scriptures; some condemn them, and some think they are the only way to get a deep study of the scriptures!

While there really might be a “right way” for some individuals, I believe each has its advantages. For example, for me, digital scriptures have the potential to be more distracting, but I’m more likely to click on the footnotes, search for a term, or write a note on a verse. On the other hand, my physical scriptures may be easier to focus on, but I am unlikely to search for terms or follow any cross-references.

Similarly, I’ve seen switching between a physical and digital study journal has done a lot to change my approach to my note-taking, with pros and cons to both. Either way, the act of switching refreshes my experience of journaling my impressions and helps get me out of a rut in my scripture study.

If you think your Come, Follow Me study could use a little refresh, try switching the format of your scriptures, manual, and/or journal. You can try any combination of these, too. It might look like any of the following: 

  • Physical scriptures and manual with a text document on your laptop for notes
  • Paper journal with digital scriptures and manual
  • Audio (digital) scriptures on your phone alongside your physical manual and journal
  • Some other combination

#6 – Set a goal to share what you are learning

“Oh, if I could teach you this one principle. A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it!”

Elder Boyd K. Packer, General Conference 1983

There are a number of reasons sharing what you are learning might help you. I have noticed that setting a precedent to share what I’m learning in my scripture studies helps me feel accountable to focus on finding something worth sharing.

And, of course, sharing what you learn will solidify your understanding and belief in those things. As you hear yourself say what you believe, the Spirit will bear stronger witness to you that it is true.

Prayerfully make your own goal and plan to share what you are learning in your personal Come, Follow Me studies. Here are some ways you might do this:

  • Share your thoughts in a personal blog 😉
  • Post on social media every day or week, highlighting a verse or line that stood out to you and why
  • Make a shared online document or group chat with your family members or other study partner(s) and share what you find in your personal studies – my husband and I have just begun a shared iPhone Note in which we add to a list of verses that add to our Faith in Jesus Christ, based on the recommended personal study activity in the first week’s Come, Follow Me chapter.
  • Share your testimony of what you learn from your studies in fast and testimony meeting at church
  • Prepare and commit to sharing at least one comment each Sunday School class

#7 – Pick a setting and keep a routine

Choose a consistent, daily setting for your scripture study. Try to pick a place you won’t be interrupted or distracted.

If you already do this, but you think a change of setting would help you refocus, try finding a new place, choosing a different time, or extending the amount of time you study. Commit to being in a certain place every day at the same time for your daily personal Come, Follow Me studies.

These are a few settings I have chosen with at least good success:

  • After getting ready in the morning, sitting at the kitchen table as I eat breakfast
  • At night, in bed, before reading for fun and going to sleep every night (it worked until I stopped having time for fun reading and became a morning person)
  • At a study desk at home after lunch
  • At the institute building in a general quiet study area for an hour before going to class (my personal favorite)
  • (Not really a setting, but another tip for any other crazy Type As out there: It also helps me to add “scripture study” to my list of to-dos each day in my planner!)

What else?

What other tips would you give someone else looking to start or improve their Come, Follow Me personal study? What is your plan to start or improve your Come, Follow Me study in 2020? Comment below!

How Jesus Solves All Problems

The Christmas season is a time of compassion. Religious (and even secular) groups organize countless charitable activities. Schools host clothing drives; churches lead events to feed the homeless; choirs sing carols to those in care centers.

Many of us individually get caught up in the action as well. You might have headed up or shared a special fundraiser on Facebook for a child needing an operation, volunteered at a soup kitchen, donated blood, or doorbell-ditched presents for a single-parent family.

With so many important causes to which you might contribute, you might be overwhelmed wondering where to start. Where will your time, energy, and money do the most good?

Storytime

When I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in the spring, I had all kinds of big ideas. I was practically handed a great job, at which I felt I could make a difference for children and instructors alike at the local technical college, as well as support my husband through the rest of his degree. I was accepted to a promising master’s program, motivated by the Lord’s counsel to “seek learning” out of the “best books words of wisdom” as well as the opportunity of becoming a better teacher and example for my future children. (Doctrine and Covenants 88:118)

I was sure God would help me achieve these noble goals!

To my surprise, with much prayer and fasting, I felt the Lord gently advise me not to pursue the job or grad school.

I shook off my disappointment. No matter! I told myself. This surely means I have the green light to put more time into more noble causes I’d also been dreaming of.

I was excited to pursue a couple specific prospects in teaching ESL (English as a Second Language), since I am so passionate about language, self-reliance, and helping the Spanish-speaking community. I began gearing up to launch a great YouTube channel, through which I could share my testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ with the world. I was also looking into ways to put my passion for the pro-life movement into action in my area.

And then my pregnancy happened, derailing all of these goals. (The Truth About Pregnancy)

As I began to pull out of the worst of it, I had to ask myself which goal I could begin to pursue, because I knew it couldn’t be all of them. I had to decide which cause was most worthy of my time.

In my soul-searching, I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t do anything more important than share Jesus with others.  I decided that even if I had to reduce the scope of my YouTube channel for the moment, it was most important for me to prioritize launching this blog over my other passions.

Why preaching Jesus’ gospel trumps all other noble causes

Divorce. Bullying. Poverty. Lack of education. Insufficient healthcare. Racism. Abortion. Anxiety and depression. Hunger. Homelessness. Pornography.

There are so many problems in the world to solve! How can one choose between all the charitable causes available?

My claim is that the gospel of Jesus Christ is the answer to all of these.

Let me clarify: each of these problems may have a number of effective, individual solutions. However, the only universal solution is Jesus.

Therefore, I propose that, when it comes down to prioritizing your acts of service, put sharing the teachings of Jesus Christ first. It is the one surefire way to do the most good. 

In scope of Earth’s entire history and geography, too few have even heard the name of Jesus. Those who have been blessed to know the reality, mission, and teachings of Jesus Christ have been granted a great and rare gift. Even more rare is the blessing of being members of His Church today, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

If you have been blessed with any measure of the truth of Jesus Christ, you have a great responsibility to share this knowledge.

As a missionary

It’s a wonderful thing that the Church provides opportunity for its young adults to serve full-time missions. These missions are primarily focused on sharing the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Many churches and organizations host mission trips; usually, they are primarily of a humanitarian nature, seeking to fulfill physical needs. While those trips are also excellent, valuable, and meaningful, there is something powerful about the prioritization of sharing the gospel.

As a missionary, I was encouraged to spend some time each week helping in the community, but I was to spend the majority of my time teaching faith in Jesus Christ and repentance through Him.

At first, I wondered why I was asked to limit the amount of time I spent on service activities. I enjoyed serving food at soup kitchens, helping people move, painting houses, and more.

I loved Christmas as a missionary!

But something struck me. In my unique role as a missionary, I had the ability to watch people choose to accept or reject the gospel and teachings of Jesus Christ, and I also observed the results of their choices. There was a clear correlation:

The measure to which people accepted and acted on the teachings of Christ determined to what measure they were blessed.

It was incredible to watch this phenomenon! As people accepted our invitations to learn about and follow Christ, seemingly unrelated parts of their lives began to fall into place. They gained power to quit smoking, received better employment opportunities, were able to make and stick to plans, found enough money to get by, experienced more peace in their families, and did better in school.

They were empowered to do and achieve good things because the Lord sent His Spirit to be with them. They had qualified themselves for the company of the Spirit, who can inspire any good thing. The Lord wishes for our success, but too often, we limit ourselves by not allowing Him to work in and with us.

The more we accept Christ, the more we qualify ourselves to receive the good things He already wishes to grant us in any area of life.

“The Spirit of truth is of God. I am the Spirit of truth, and John bore record of me, saying: He received a fulness of truth, yea, even of all truth;

“And no man receiveth a fulness unless he keepeth his commandments.”

Doctrine and Covenants 93:26-27

Application example

To illustrate my point, let me explain how Christ is the solution to divorce, a rampant struggle for an increasing number of families.

Let us discuss those preparing for marriage, as a way Christ can prevent divorce early on. If those who are preparing to enter into marriage have accepted Christ and are trying to follow Him, they will follow His commands. Following His counsel to love selflessly, to cleave unto one’s spouse, and to always be honest are just a few examples of how following Him will set this couple up for success.

More importantly, as individuals seek to obey the Lord, they qualify themselves for the company of the Spirit, who He sends to comfort and to guide. The more time a person spends with the Spirit, the more they will receive and understand inspiration to do good and better things. This inspiration may come through scripture, prayer, personal promptings from the Spirit, and especially through some combination of the three.

In the case of one preparing for marriage, if they follow Christ, they will be guided to know whether they’ve chosen a good spouse or if they should end the relationship before marriage, how to most appropriately prepare to love and commit to the other person, and what behaviors they should avoid leading up to marriage. 

Once the couple is married, if they are both committed to following Christ, following His commandments will also give them their best chance for success, as well as grant them the promptings of the Spirit to know what other specific actions they should take to ensure the security of their marriage. A couple might be both following Christ to the best of their abilities and experiencing marital problems. But as they qualify themselves for the Spirit, and listen to His promptings, they will understand what else they may need to do, including attending marriage therapy together, visiting a financial advisor, talking with their bishop, or just taking a dance class together.

I challenge you to ponder how else Christ is the solution for people in a number of other divorce situations: a man who wishes to follow Christ but his wife wants nothing to do with the marriage or Christ; a child of parents who are divorced; a woman whose husband has cheated on her; etc.

While some individuals may be rightly inspired to take specific action to combat divorce (i.e., become marriage therapists, begin a social media campaign promoting marital health, or donating to a local divorced single parent in need), the gospel of Jesus Christ is the single solution that can do the most good for families facing divorce.

Choosing how to serve

I want to be clear: we mustn’t only share the gospel of Jesus Christ. For truly:

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

James 1:27

We are to act charitably and serve those around us, especially those less fortunate. But if we prioritize being like Christ, knowing His will, and sharing His gospel, we can do the most good. As we do so, we will receive our own increased measure of the Spirit and be inspired to know where we might do the most good.

It is good and honorable to choose an inspired area of charity to devote time and energy to. The Lord has said we “should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of [our] own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:27) Some have specific callings to help children, the elderly, or the homeless. Others may feel inspired to devote their life to improving healthcare or politics. That’s great! 

Including sharing the gospel in your plan to serve will improve the effectiveness of any other cause you take up as well as do the most good for individuals and the world.

But if you must choose between one or the other, choose to share the gospel. 

As we do our part to share the good news of Christ this Christmas and all year, society as a whole will qualify to have the blessings of heaven come upon them more abundantly. Truly we can be as Nephi foresaw:

“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, beheld the power of the Lamb of God, that it descended upon the saints of the church of the Lamb, and upon the covenant people of the Lord, who were scattered upon all the face of the earth; and they were armed with righteousness and with the power of God in great glory.”

1 Nephi 14:14

What do you think?

What other problems do the world face that can be solved by sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ? How? Have you felt a personal calling to a cause? How can sharing Jesus’ gospel help your cause?

Heaven and Health: A Dietary Journey

“We ordered five Little Caesar’s pizzas for you guys, and we need you to help us finish all of it! Two slices for you?” 

Somewhat apologetically but firmly, I respond, “No, thank you, I’ll pass. I brought my own snacks.” 

I wasn’t always so confident. My health journey has taken me a long way, and it continues today.

High school: roots

I think it all started when I had food poisoning from chicken twice in one week in high school (a pretty funny story for another day.) Then it happened a few more times before I left on my mission.

Mission: Going meatless?

I was enchanted with my mission, the people, Texas, the Spanish language, and Latino culture. However, I learned to resent the food situation.

While I recognized good flavor and appreciated the love and service of those we visited, I left practically every dinner appointment feeling terribly ill. Between the oiliness, spiciness, and mere quantity of food, every day became painful.

Finally, toward the end of my mission, my stomach pains worsened and began to noticeably affect my work. I contacted my mission nurse. After a consultation, she suggested I go off meat for a couple weeks and see if it helped.

I felt awful when I told the members. I could see the concern in their eyes when I told them I needed to avoid meat. They were Hispanics living in Texas, two very meat-centric cultures; I knew most of them didn’t know what they could make for the missionaries without meat!

Oddly enough, eating vegetarian helped. Even though there were occasions when I couldn’t avoid meat entirely, having the ability to tell those around me that I medically needed to cut back on meat gave me the power to come closer to giving my body what it needed.

Overall, avoiding meat as much as possible helped me feel more normal and complete my missionary work.

Home: Worth the… weight?

Coming home was a tough part of my health journey. I finally had control of what I ate all the time, but I was still suffering from a year and a half of bad eating.

One of the hardest things was trying to fit into any clothes, especially pants. I knew I had gained quite a bit of weight on my mission, but I had pretty successfully pushed weight concerns aside for eighteen months.

But when I tried pulling my old pants on and they barely made it over my knees, it started to hit me that I had lost my body. No matter, I tried to tell myself, I’ll just wear my biggest and stretchiest pants. When those were also a no-go, I finally broke down and cried. 

My sweet mother jumped to the rescue and bought me two new pairs of jeans that fit. With somewhat renewed confidence, I resumed college on Monday. 

I reveled in the new control over my diet, but I still felt sick quite often and so uncomfortable with my body.

Coming to my rescue again, my mom got me in for an initial evaluation and consultation with her personal trainer. After taking a lot of measurements, he prescribed a personalized macros diet to me and a few workout routines to alternate between.

The diet required quite a bit of protein, but I could mostly get by with Greek yogurt, eggs, protein powder, and protein bars (when I could afford them). 

Overall, I felt pretty good on this diet!! I could eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, and I avoided most fatty foods. I loved having smaller, more frequent meals; I’d always preferred having small meals and snacking throughout the day.

Between the diet and exercise, I lost about 75% of the weight I’d gained on my mission, and I think the rest of the fat I replaced with muscle.

Three months after returning home, I felt confident in jeans, and was nearly a pre-mission pant size. (This was my Sam Sparks Halloween costume, taken the night I first talked to my husband!)

Although it helped for a time, going vegetarian and tracking my macros wasn’t a perfect, forever answer.

After just two or three months, I identified that eating so many protein bars and shakes became tough on my body, so I let them go. (It was also beyond my poor college student budget.) I gradually stopped tracking my macros, started eating a little meat, and began to deviate to other workout routines.

The last straw: Learning to say no

When I got in to see a doctor, what I had already guessed was confirmed: I had IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I know, it sounds like a bad joke. The best solution is to just avoid foods that upset my stomach. 

This was just the final straw in committing to doing what I needed to do: 

Say no to food my body doesn’t want.

I learned to take control of my health. I learned to trust what my body wants and especially what it doesn’t. I learned to take note of foods that didn’t sit well with me, find patterns, and avoid common ingredients. 

Now, I’m sure a lot of people think of me as just a very picky eater. I won’t eat anything too cheesy, too meaty, too fried, or too oily. I’ll stop eating something if I detect that it’s not making my body happy. That has even meant turning down food that were once favorites. (It’s nothing personal, Chick-fil-a.) But the happiness I’ve gained by treating my body well is worth much more than the pain of poisoning myself.

Heaven and health: Godly guidance

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

1 Corinthians 6:19

I’ve tried to involve the Lord in my health journey, too. I was inspired to do this:

Read the Word of Wisdom and pray about how to include it in your life. 

He created you in His image. Your body is a precious gift. The Lord is concerned about your health and wants you to treat your body with respect. 

Back when I decided to avoid meat, I read the Word of Wisdom, and I felt that it was something the Lord was pleased with. Now, rather than avoid meat entirely, I feel that the Lord wants me to instead focus on eating fresh foods like whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

Most members of the Church are pretty good at following the most restrictive parts in the Word of Wisdom. As identified in Doctrine & Covenants 89 and clarified in For the Strength of Youth, members are to avoid coffee, tea, alcohol, smoking, and other illegal and addictive drugs.

However, I think we could collectively do more to follow the counsel to: “eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. Practice balance and moderation in all aspects of your physical health. Also, avoid extremes in diet…” For the Strength of Youth, “Physical and Emotional Health”

I’m still learning how to do this. (Pregnancy has made my health a new beast to conquer every other month.) But I know the Lord is eager to help us achieve health in every situation and stage of life.

My new favorite kind of pizza (if that’s what you can call it!). Pro tip: a quick trip to Israel might do wonders for resetting your palette and healing your gut! It did for me!

I invite you to evaluate your health. As you do so, pray for the Lord to advise you. Seek guidance in Doctrine & Covenants 89 and For the Strength of Youth, “Physical and Emotional Health”.

You might be guided to a specific diet, such as vegetarianism, veganism, or paleoism. You might be asked to include a specific food into your diet, such as grains or fruits, or to exclude a specific food from your diet. Or you might feel guided to a general practice of moderation in your diet.

I’m confident that, whatever direction to which He leads you, if you ask Him, God will grant you power to take control of your health and ability to listen to your body. I testify that these promises are true:

“When you are obedient to this law, you remain free from harmful addictions and have control over your life. You gain the blessings of a healthy body, an alert mind, and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. You will be prepared to serve the Lord.”

For the Strength of Youth, “Physical and Emotional Health”

What do you think?

How have you felt the Lord lead you to health? How do you think the Lord wants you to eat and treat your body?

Ministering Despite Anxiety: How to Start Ministering

Elder Holland: “Be With and Strengthen Them” April 2018

Getting a new ministering assignment can be daunting. Plus, the whole idea of ministering might still be intimidating to you (even a year and a half after hearing about the Church’s shift from home and visiting teaching to ministering, announced April 2018).

As a person with social anxiety, I’ve been there!

Storytime

When I saw my new ministering assignment on my Member Tools app, I was deflated.

I’d only been in the ward for a little under six months, and my assignment had already changed entirely. It seemed I had barely gotten to know either of the ladies I had been assigned to or my companion, and now I had three new assignments and a new companion. I had met my new companion once or twice, but I didn’t know any of the sisters to whom we were assigned.

Basic, awful questions occupied my mind for days: What if they don’t like me? What if they’d just be better off living their lives without me wasting their time? What if I invite them out for ice cream and find out they’re allergic to dairy? What if they’re huggers!?

I prayed to know how to serve these ladies. I hoped to receive some specific advice, to be told exactly what they needed right then.

Instead, I distinctly felt the Lord tell me this important counsel:

“Just do something.”

So I did! Thanks to the help of an involved, inspired ministering companion, I didn’t have to go by myself to meet the first of those gals. We just set up a time to sit down with her for a half hour and talk. It was a little awkward for the first few minutes, but I quickly found out we had several things in common. That meeting gave me more confidence to meet with the others by myself when scheduling a meeting three ways became difficult.

When deciding how to meet with the second sister, I decided to take her out to lunch with a gift card I had hanging around. I quickly discovered that she was really cool and easy to talk to!

The third sister was difficult to make and keep contact with, but I was blessed enough to catch her at home, meet her and her cute family, and drop off a treat. Even though she was still very hard to contact, she seemed genuinely grateful for the thought and the gift.

After I had finally met each of these sisters, I prayed again to know what to do for them. Again, I just felt: “Just do something!”

So I did! Over the next many months, with one or more of them, and with and without my companion, I went to a hot springs, got frozen yogurt, helped with a school service project, went for walks, gave rides, sat together at church, personally delivered handouts from Relief Society when they weren’t there, held a game night, texted on birthdays, and hosted a family home evening and cookout. And, of course, I prayed for them and their circumstances.

I don’t think any of this was really a big deal. Many of these things I was already doing; I just tried to remember to involve these sisters in my life.

But what was a big deal is that they became my friends. They gave me somebody to sit by at church events in a ward where I felt alone, invited me to their activities, helped me get ready for baby, and became my support. In fact, one sister was one of the only people in my life who took care of me when I was practically bedridden for months during pregnancy.

Of course, I’ve felt God’s approval and blessing as I’ve served, but most of it didn’t really feel like serving.

Get to the point

I like to say: ministering is assigned friendship. I’m certain that, in part, it is there for folks like me who stress over knowing how to love and help others. It’s that little kick in the pants that says, “just do something for someone!”

Photo by Anna Vander Stel on Unsplash

I have grown in confidence as I’ve learned to trust that God gives me my ministering assignments for a “wise purpose in Him.” (1 Nephi 9:5) It may be easy to think this means we have something special to offer these people we are assigned to, but just as much or even more, I feel that they have something special to offer us. 

I am so not the perfect ministering sister, and I apologize to those to whom I’ve been assigned and failed to serve well. But I’m trying, I’m learning, and I know that, despite my imperfect actions, the Lord has blessed me for it.

A step further

As I’ve learned how to minister better, there’s something else I’m learning and so imperfectly trying to begin to act upon:

We shouldn’t need an assignment to minister.

We have already been called to do just that to everybody.

All who have been baptized by proper authority have been commanded to:

“…bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

“…mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort”

Mosiah 18:9-10

Indeed, Christians everywhere are charged:

“…love one another; as I have loved you…

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples.”

John 13:34-35

I see ministering as a merciful chance to narrow the scope. Of course, we should still attempt to love and bear the burdens of everyone around us, but that can be so very daunting! I’m grateful that God has given us a place to start. He knows how limited we are, so He gives us just a little to start working out our weak little charity muscles.

I second the testimony of Brett Hamblin, as shared by Elder Holland: “The Church provides us a structured way to live the second commandment better—to love, serve, and develop relationships with our brothers and sisters that help us move closer to God.” (Be With and Strengthen Them, 2018)

What to do

If you’re like me, you might feel really awkward getting started ministering.

Maybe it’s been months since you’ve received your ministering assignment, and it feels like your socially-acceptable window of time to reach out has completely passed. Or maybe you’ve visited those you were assigned to once and don’t know what else to do. Perhaps it seems like those to whom you are assigned have everything under control and don’t need or want your help. Or you might be coming to the dreaded conclusion that your companion will never get back to you and that you’re going to have to do the ministering thing by yourself.

May I just say:

Just do something!

Start now. Don’t worry about it being the wrong thing. God will bless your efforts. Involve Him in those efforts, but remember that He trusts you.

“For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

“Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

“For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.”

Doctrine and Covenants 58:26 – 28

What do you think?

Do you have experiences with “just doing something” as you’ve ministered? How has ministering blessed you? How will you get started ministering?